[Life] A meeting story

Petrov came to the meeting on Tuesday. There he took brain, spread on a silver platter and began to eat, slurping and generally expressing all possible approval. Head Petrov Nedozaytsev prudently gave attendees dessert spoon. And so it began.
– Colleagues – says Morkoveva – before our organization got a major task. We entered the implementation of a project in which we need to portray some red lines. You are ready to take on this task?
– Of course – says Nedozaytsev. He director, and always ready to take on a challenge that will have to carry someone from the team. But he immediately adds: – We can it?
Head of the department of drawing Sidoryahin hastily nods
– Yes, of course. Here we just sits Petrov, he is our best specialist in the field of drawing red lines. We specifically invited him to the meeting, that he gave his authoritative opinion.
– Very nice – says Morkoveva. – Well, you all know me. And this is – Helen, she design specialist in our organization.
Helen covered with paint and smiling shyly. She recently graduated from the economics, and design has the same attitude as the platypus to designing airships.
– Well, – said Morkoveva. – We need to draw seven red lines. All of them must be strictly perpendicular, and besides, you need to draw some green and some more – transparent. Do you think it’s real?
– No, – said Petrov.
– Let’s not rush to answer, Petrov – says Sidoryahin. – Our current task, and it must be solved. You’re a professional, Petrov. Do not give us reason to believe that you are not professional.
– You see, – explains Petrov – the term “red line” means that line color – red. Draw a red line in green is not that impossible, but very close to impossible …
– Petrov, what means “impossible”? – Asks Sidoryahin.
– I’m just outlining the situation. Perhaps there are people who are color blind, which really will not matter the color of the line, but I’m not sure that the target audience of your project consists solely of such people.
– That is, in principle, it is possible, we understand you correctly, Petrov? – Asks Morkoveva.
Petrov is aware that too far with the imagery.
– Let’s just say – he says. – Line, as such, can be drawn in any color. But to get the red line should be used only red.
– Petrov, you do not confuse us, please. Just what you said, it’s possible.
Petrov silently curse his loquacity.
– No, you got me wrong. I just wanted to say that in some very rare situations, the line color will not matter, but even then – the line still will not be red. You know, it will not be red! It will be green. And you need red.
There comes a short silence, which can distinctly hear the quiet hum of stress synapses.
– What if – shaded idea, says Nedozaytsev – paint them blue?
– I still do not succeed, – shakes his head Petrov. – If you draw a blue – blue lines are obtained.
Again there was silence. This time it interrupts itself Petrov.
– And I still do not understand … What do you mean when you said about the lines of transparent color?
Morkoveva looks at him indulgently, as a kind teacher for slow learners.
– Well, how do you explain that? .. Petrov, Do not you know what a “transparent”?
– I know.
– And what is the “red line”, I hope you also do not need to explain?
– No, do not.
– Well. You draw us red lines transparent color.
Petrov freezes for a second, pondering the situation.
– And the result should look like, please, please describe? How do you imagine that?
– Well-at Petro-o-s! – Says Sidoryahin. – Well, let’s not … Do we have a kindergarten? Who is an expert on the red lines, Morkoveva or you?
– I’m just trying to clarify for myself the details of the job …
– Well, that’s hard to understand that? .. – Barges into the conversation Nedozaytsev. – You know what is the red line?
– Yes, but …
– And what is “transparent”, you too right?
– Of course, but …
– So you explain that? Petrov, well, let’s not stoop to unproductive disputes. Our current task, the task of clear and precise. If you have specific questions, so ask.
– You’re a pro – adds Sidoryahin.
– Well, – to be Petrov. – God is with him, with color. But you have something else there with perpendicular? ..
– Yes, – readily acknowledges Morkoveva. – Seven lines, all strictly perpendicular.
– Perpendicular to what? – Says Petrov.
Morkoveva begins to view their paper.
– Uh-uh – she says finally. – Well, sort of … Everything. Among themselves. Well, or whatever … I do not know. I thought it was, you know, what are the perpendicular lines – finally she is.
– Yes, of course knows – Sidoryahin waved his hands. – We’re professionals, or professionals? ..
– Perpendicular can be two lines – patiently explains Petrov. – All seven are not simultaneously be perpendicular with respect to each other. This geometry, Grade 6.
Morkoveva shakes his head, dismissing the looming specter of long-forgotten school. Nedozaytsev slaps the table:
– Petrov, let’s not do this: “Grade 6, Grade 6.” Let us be mutually polite. Will not make allusions and descend to insults. Let’s maintain a constructive dialogue. Here gathered are not idiots.
– I think so too, – says Sidoryahin.
Petrov pulls himself to a piece of paper.
– Well, – he says. – Let me draw you. That line. So?
Morkoveva nods his head.
– Draw the other … – Petrov said. – It is perpendicular to the first?
– Well …
– Yes, it is perpendicular.
– Well, you see! – Happily exclaims Morkoveva.
– Wait, that’s not all. Now draw a third … It is perpendicular to the first line? ..
Thoughtful silence. Not waiting for an answer, he is responsible Petrov:
– Yes, it is perpendicular to the first line. But the second line is not crossed. From the second line, they are parallel.
Silence. Then Morkoveva rises from his seat and rounded the table, Petrov comes from the rear, looking over his shoulder.
– Well … – she says hesitantly. – Probably, yes.
– That this matter – Petrov said, trying to consolidate their success. – While two lines, they may be perpendicular. Once they become more …
– Can I have a pen? – Requests Morkoveva.
Petrov sends a pen. Morkoveva gently holds several uncertain lines.
– And if so? ..
Petrov sighs.
– This is called a triangle. No, it is not perpendicular to the line. In addition, there are three, not seven.
Morkoveva purses his lips.
– And why are they blue? – Suddenly asked Nedozaytsev.
– Oh, – support Sidoryahin. – Sam wanted to ask.
Petrov blinks a few times, looking at the drawing.
– I have a blue pen, – he finally says. – I was just to demonstrate …
– Well, it can, and in this case? – Impatiently interrupts him Nedozaytsev tone of a man who had just figured out a complex concept and excited to share it with others as long as the idea is not lost. – You have the blue line. You draw a red, and let’s see what happens.
– Get the same – confidently says Petrov.
– Well, the same thing? – Says Nedozaytsev. – How can you be sure if you even tried? You draw a red and see.
– I do not have a pen with a red – admits Petrov. – But I can not quite …
– And what are you not prepared, – says reproachfully Sidoryahin. – Did the same that will be meeting …
– I am absolutely certain I can tell you – in despair says Petrov – that red will be exactly the same.
– You yourself the last time we spoke – parries Sidoryahin – that need to draw red lines in red. Here, I even wrote himself. And they themselves draw their blue pen. Is that a red line in your opinion?
– By the way, yes, – notes Nedozaytsev. – I have asked you about the blue. What you told me?
Petrov suddenly makes Helen, with interest studying his drawing from his seat.
– I think I understand – she says. – You do not now about the color say yes? That you about this one, as you call it? Perper-what-you-there?
– Perpendicular lines, yes – thankfully responds Petrov. – It is the color of the lines is not connected.
– All you have me confused finally – Nedozaytsev said, looking from one participant to another. – So what’s the problem with us? With color or perpendicular?
Morkoveva publishes confused sounds and shakes his head. It also confused.
– And with that, and with another – quietly said Petrov.
– I can not understand – Nedozaytsev says, staring at his fingers linked to the castle. – Here is the problem. Need only some seven red lines. I understand they would be twenty! .. But here are seven. The task is simple. Our customers want seven perpendicular lines. Right?
Morkoveva nods.
– And Sidoryahin too do not see a problem – says Nedozaytsev. – I’m right Sidoryahin? .. Well. So what prevents us to accomplish the task?
– Geometry – Petrov says with a sigh.
– Well, you just do not pay attention to it, that’s all! – Says Morkoveva.
Petrov silent, gathering his thoughts. In his mind born one after another colorful metaphor that would convey to others surrealism going on, but unfortunately, all of them clothed in words, always begin with the word “Fuck!” Wholly inappropriate in the business conversation.
Tired of waiting for an answer, Nedozaytsev says:
– Petrov, you answer is simple – you can do or you can not? I understand that you are a narrow specialist and do not see the whole picture. But it’s easy – to draw some seven lines? Two hours discussing some nonsense, can not come to a decision.
– Yes, – said Sidoryahin. – You are just criticize and say, “Impossible! Impossible! “You offer us your solution! And that fool can criticize and, pardon the expression. You’re a pro!
Petrov tired utters:
– Good. Let me draw you a guaranteed two perpendicular red lines, and the rest – the transparent color. They will be transparent, and can not be seen, but I’ll draw them. You feel like it?
– We want it? – Morkoveva turns to Lena. – Yes, we are satisfied.
– Only still at least a couple – green – adds Helen. – And I have a question, can I?
– Yes, – dead voice allows Petrov.
– You can draw a line in the form of a kitten?
Petrov was silent a few seconds, and then asks:
– What?
– Well, as a kitten. Kitten. Our users like small animals. It would be great …
– No, – said Petrov.
– And why not?
– No, of course I can draw you a cat. I’m not an artist, but I can try. Only it will not be a line. It will be a cat. Line and the cat – two different things.
– Kitten – says Morkoveva. – Not a cat and kitten, so small, cute. Cats, they …
– Yes, all the same – shakes his head Petrov.
– Absolutely nothing, huh? .. – Helen asks disappointed.
– Petrov, to listen to you even to the end – says irritably Nedozaytsev. – Did not listen, and have to say “no.”
– I got the idea – without looking up from the table, says Petrov. – Draw a line in the form of a kitten impossible.
– Well, do not then – allows Helen. – A bird does not turn too?
Petrov silently up at her eyes and Helen understands.
– Well, do not then – it repeats again.
Nedozaytsev slaps the table.
– So, where were we? What do we do?
– Seven red lines, – says Morkoveva. – Two red and two green, and the rest transparent. Yes? I understand correctly?
– Yes – confirms Sidoryahin before Petrov manages to open his mouth.
Nedozaytsev nods in satisfaction.
– That’s good … Well, then all colleagues? .. Costs? .. Any more questions? ..
– Oh, – says Helen. – We still have a red balloon! Say, you can cheat?
– Oh, – says Morkoveva. – Let’s discuss it too soon to not be collected twice.
– Petrov – turns Nedozaytsev to Petrov. – We can do it?
– And what to do with me has the ball? – Surprise asks Petrov.
– It’s red, – says Helen.
Petrov stupidly silent, trembling fingertips.
– Petrov – nervously asks Nedozaytsev. – So you can do it or can not? Simple question.
– Well, – says carefully Petrov – basically, I certainly can, but …
– Well, – Nedozaytsev nods. – Take a trip to them inflate. Travel, if necessary, we write.
– Tomorrow can? – Asks Morkoveva.
– Of course – answers Nedozaytsev. – I think I will have no problems … Well, now we all? .. Excellent. Productively worked … Thank you and goodbye!
Petrov blinks several times to return to objective reality, then gets up and walks slowly to the door. At the exit Helen catches up with him.
– And you can still ask you? – Blushing, says Helen. – You will inflate when the ball … you can inflate it in the form of a kitten? ..
Petrov sighs.
– I can do anything – he says. – I can absolutely everything. I’m a professional.